Several
months ago, I very innocently posted in a social networking site about how my
daughter, Mighty Z, was in a “normal” class room setting. Based on all of the comments I received, you
would have thought that I had said the most offensive word ever. Normal.
A private message from a friend kindly told me that the word normal was now viewed as offensive and I needed to use the word
“typical” when talking about children who did not have a disease or syndrome.
I was
shocked! I have been dealing with a child on life support machines for the past
11 years and nobody sent me the memo that I was to be offended by the word
“normal.” I called all of my fellow ‘disease friends’ (is that offensive that I
have disease friends?) and asked them if they were offended by the word normal. Some hadn’t received the memo
either. Some were offended that there
were others who thought hooking your child up to life support machine was
normal (because let’s all agree, it is not
normal hooking your child up to life support machine). And yes, some were offended by the word
normal, but couldn’t remember when they became offended and why the word “typical”
made them feel better about not having a typical/normal kid. Oy va! Now I am
confused…should I be offended that my kid is not (gasp) normal? I think I
figured that out 11 years ago. But, because I, too, wanted to be a part
of the in-crowd, I tried to be offended by the word normal by looking up the meanings of both words: normal and typical.
Normal
means conforming to the standard or the common type. Abnormal means not normal, average, typical, or usual; deviating
from a standard. Normal is slowly becoming as offensive as the “R” word (retarded). Of course we couldn’t call it the “N” word,
so what should we call it? The “Nor” word or the “Mal” word?
Typical
means conforming to a particular type.
Whereas atypical means not typical;
deviating from or not conforming to type.
To me, normal and typical mean the same thing. But abnormal and atypical? That means your child is zigging while
everyone else is zagging.
So what
is so wrong with normal? Does it make Mighty Z less that she does not conform
to the standard or to the common type? Or
that she deviates from the standard? No, in fact what Mighty Z is, is an
individual person.
I have
two children, one (Lala) whom could be considered “normal” or “typical,” and
one (Mighty Z) who could be considered “abnormal” or “atypical.” One child is
on life support and one is not, but both zig while everyone else zags.
Maybe we
should call ourselves the “new normal,” well, because it sounds so chic.
We stick
out. Not because one is on a ventilator, but because we are individuals that celebrate
not conforming to the standard, or to
the common type, and that we do indeed deviate from the typical. We have taken
the back streets by zagging…streets never known by simply zigging.
It is not
the normal people who change the people around them, but it is the abnormal (or should I say the “new normal”)
ones who make us see the beauty in the world.
Words and labels limit meaning, they also limit people.
Words and labels limit meaning, they also limit people.
Edited by Linda Kruger
