Sunday, March 25, 2012


Right after Mighty Z was born my husband and I hit the ground running literally. We had another child La la who at the time was 2 and a half. My husband and I were tring to manage both children and work for him. In a lot of ways those early days where a blur and lost to the deep recesses of my mind. Every now and then I get flash backs of those days.

 I now know that is Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) after Mighty Z came home my husband and I went to therapy once. The therapist said we were fantastic and didn't need any real help. Boy was she wrong.

After a couple of months at home things start to unravel quickly. And off to therapy we went again. The details of that experience are so hard and consuming that I am not quite ready to purge on a blog yet. Safe to say we went twice it was horrible and I got on medication to help me cope with PTS. I only took the medication for about two years. I started fee.ling better and more capable and took myself off .. Very unwise but at lease I am here to tell the tale now.

 Only others that have walked my road truly get what I have witnessed. My family tries in their way to understand but sometimes falls short of the pain, worry, and stress that is my daily life. I try to let them in and all I get is silence. Not because they don't care, but because they don't know what to say. Which leaves me hollow inside and an outsider to them.

A couple of years ago thanks to facebook. I have been able to meet others with children such diseases like Mighty Z. In telling my tale and listening to others, has brought about the beginnings of healing inside my broken heart.

I have seen my daughter in coma's,in all accounts dead(to many times to count), I have had to go into surgery and watch my Mighty Z be cut on, I have sat in school offices told my child is not wanted, and I have been told that there is nothing more that can be done (to many times to count).

I truly feel that other mothers and fathers that have walked this road, We have become each other’s therapists, I know that I have cried and have been heartbroken with other women I have never met, laughed and rejoiced with them at small successes with their very special children. Without each other, none of us could ever make this journey. I am grateful and thankful for each one of them.

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