When your child gets a new doctor, it is usually through the doctor lotto. You know what I mean: your child winds up in the ER with a seizure and then is admitted, and wham bam, the next morning you have a new doctor who you have never met. It happens all the time, whether your child has been given a new party favor (such as having a seizure for the first time) or your primary doctor tells you need to see nephrology, endocrinology, etc.; the doctor gods spin the Wheel o’ Doctor Wheel (much like the Wheel of Fortune) and you get whatever doctor the arrow points to.
This new doctor can be good, okay, bad, or downright horrible, yet you are “supposed” to make do with this new doctor and trust everything he says, right? Absolutely NOT!!! Every time Mighty Z gets a new doctor I begin to doctor stalk. I ask all my friends with miracle babies if they know the new doctor; I ask my other doctors about him, and yes, I even Google him. I want to know all I can about this new doctor before I see him in clinic.
During my first visit I assess the new doctor: has he read Mighty Z’s medical records? Has he looked up Mighty Z’s syndrome? If so, does he understand it? And above all, does this new doctor listen to me?
I totally understand that trust and respect must be earned. The doctor has to earn my trust and respect, but I also must earn the doctor’s trust and respect. I think of this as a new relationship in which the doctor and I are just starting a relationship and we both are very wary of each other. There is no trust and no respect, and we tip toe around each other until we have established trust and respect. The level of trust and respect varies from doctor to doctor. I have found out the hard way that just having an M.D. at the end of one’s name doesn’t mean he knows how to care for Mighty Z.
Mighty Z feels the same way. I know when Z trusts a doctor and when she doesn’t, and when she doesn’t is when we start looking for another doctor. Yes, you can fire one doctor and hire another if you do not trust the one you were given by the Wheel o’ Doctor Wheel. The best way to go about finding a new doctor is the same way you stalked your old doctor: asking other mommies of miracles, asking the doctors that you trust, and Googling.
Doctor stalking is a must for mommies who have been given miracles; your doctors must be worthy of your trust and respect because only then can you be a team.
Edited by Emily Joy Minich