Where is God in all Of this?
When you have a had to walk in the surgery parade, and have had to hand your child over to the hands of surgeons who are strangers. You know why I ask this question.
Maybe you haven't had to walk in that parade, but you have had to sit in doctors offices and listen to words that no parent should ever hear. Words like retarded, deaf, blind, autism, even words that say no hope, and death. You know why I ask this question.
This question has haunted our every thought. Not just in the first few days of the diagnosis, but also in the years that follow.
The answer is not simple since we all struggle with just processing the diagnosis, and the after math of what the diagnosis means.
Some of us have had the way paved for us by the older parents who have been walking this road, many of us have been the ones paving the road. We are all in this together holding each others hands, and wiping away each others tears.
But where is God in all of this?
I have had to look back over the years to see where God has been in all of this.
God's hand has always been on Mighty Z's life even before she was born. The Neonatologist assigned to her the moment she crossed through the NICU doors had seen a baby with CCHS one month before Mighty Z was born, and therefor was able to send her medical records to the only 2 specialist in the USA(this was before there was a test for CCHS).
God was found yet again when Dr. Keens suggested we move to Las Vegas to see D. Nakamura. Dr. Nakamura's dream was for Mighty Z to get off her ventilator during the day and with time get her trach out. He was the one that started watering that seed of hope in me when I thought all hope was gone.
God saw me with out a community and a family of people with children that have Mighty Z's disease. So HE gave me one, people who understand and who really will come and hold my hand and say it is going to be alright.
God's hand was on Mighty Z's life when a school did not want her in their school simply because of her disease. God lead us to a beautiful school that not just wanted her, but loves her and wants her to succeed in all things.
Our footsteps have been ordered by HIM every step of the way even in the little day to day that seems to get to hard HE is right there by our side. He said He would never leave us or forsake us, and when life has gotten too tough for us He said when you are weak I am strong.
I have found that weak people don't have faith or hope, but that is ok because that is when GOD can be strong, and that is when you see mountains move.
This is God's beautiful gift to me