Friday, May 6, 2016

Don’t let go of me, momma!!

Don’t let go of me, momma!! Those were the words that Mighty Z kept saying to me today during her CAT scan. How many times this little girl has told me not to let go of her? 1,000? 10,000? More?  Every time she has ever had to go through something that frightened her she has echoed those words, over and over and over “Don’t let go of me”. I think that her telling me not to let go of her when she is frighten is because I am her anchor, her safe harbor. She knows that no matter what happens I won’t let go. Yet those words haunt me and I try my hardest to never let go of her no matter how slippery or how hard it gets.  What is difficult is trying to wrap my head around is what if? What if our hands get too slippery and I can’t grab back on? What if I mess up and somehow lose my grip?  That can never happen, I have to stay steadfast and cement my hand to hers I can ever let go!!! I don’t know why today these words scared me a bit, but they did. Sometimes the magnitude of what we go through on this journey is realized and I have to face the facts, and sometimes I walk through this journey like it is a walk in the park. I think this is how I cope, but I know one thing for sure I will never let go until she tells me too.
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